


After I Fall Down the Stairs at the Golden Temple

by kittykat128



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: 1950s vibes, Age Difference, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Couch Sex, Deepthroating, Dirty Talk, Doctor!Ben, Drug Use, Dubious Consent, Extremely Dubious Consent, F/M, Flashbacks, Free Use, Housewife! Rey, Kitchen Sex, Marriage, Mental Instability, Mental Institutions, Mental Patient! Rey, Morning Sex, Naked Female Clothed Male, No Pregnancy, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Overstimulation, Penis In Vagina Sex, Pills, Power Imbalance, Praise Kink, Prescription Pills, Rey is 18, Rough Oral Sex, Rough Sex, Somnophilia, Unsafe Sex, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, Wall Sex, ben is 30, blowjob, marriage kink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-15 22:27:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29443320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kittykat128/pseuds/kittykat128
Summary: Rey has been at the Institute for as long as she can remember when she catches Doctor Ben Solo's eye. She's surprised when he whisks her away and makes her his housewife, but most of all she didn't expect to like it so much.
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 28
Kudos: 145





	After I Fall Down the Stairs at the Golden Temple

**Author's Note:**

> This is the darkest thing I've ever written and of course the idea comes to me in a dream.
> 
> I included the rape/non-con tag because Rey is mentally incapacitated and unable to give proper consent. I also tagged dub-con because that seems appropriate as well.
> 
> I wanted to have no plot, only vibes. Hopefully I achieved that.
> 
> BTW the title is stolen from a Mary Oliver poem, I included it in the note, so make sure to check it out when you finish :)
> 
> Thanks to [kayla](https://twitter.com/kayla_248) as always <3

Rey is washing the dishes after dinner when she hears him walk up behind her. She already knows what’s about to happen before his hands are on her. She’s used to it by now — sometimes she even finds herself enjoying it. The first time was a shock, but after she let the sensations overtake her she was able to enjoy herself. The pills she takes every morning and evening make it easier.

He stands against her, close enough that she can feel his breath on her neck. She knows not to turn around, to pretend that he’s not even there. She continues with the scrubbing, watching the food particles run down the drain as Ben pulls the skirt of her floral dress up, revealing her bare bottom.

“What happened to your panties, Rey?” he asks angrily. He takes a handful of her ass and squeezes, sending Rey up to her tiptoes.

“I don’t like how you rip them,” she breathes out. “It’s wasteful.”

“That’s not something for you to worry about.” He leans down and presses the softest of kisses to the back of her head. “You don’t have to worry about a _fucking_ thing.”

With those words, he kicks her legs apart and shoves himself inside her to hilt. With a gasp, Rey drops the plate she was cleaning and grips the side of the sink for support. She realizes he must have had his cock out already when he entered the kitchen. She didn’t hear a zipper. 

Without giving her a second to adjust, he starts pounding, grabbing her hips and pulling her onto him as he pushes in. Rey can’t catch her breath, his cock knocking the wind out of her with each thrust. It’s so full, she’s so full, and the fog is gone. There’s no haziness at this moment when every nerve in her body feels like it’s on fire, but she likes it. There’s no struggling for words or a memory long gone. She relishes in the fire, for even though it hurts, even though she’s on her tip toes and her calf muscles are straining, these are the moments she feels _alive_. 

Truly alive.

“Keep washing,” Ben grunts out. Rey scrambles to do as he says, clumsily reaching for the sponge and pouring soap on it. She accidentally squirts out too much, but she doesn’t care, quickly bringing it to the plate she was washing earlier. She scrubs in circular motions, the suds reaching all the way to her elbows as she rinses it beneath the burning water and reaches for the pot she cooked the spaghetti in.

Ben doesn’t relent for a moment. He keeps thrusting, at some point releasing the iron grip on one of her hips to pull her hair away from her face. She’s almost done when he starts to stutter, eventually slowing down to come deep inside her. He pulls out as soon as he finishes, tucking himself back into his pants. Rey slowly eases out of her position, a little stiff. 

“You didn’t come, did you?” Ben asks smugly. 

Rey shakes her head no. 

He adjusts her skirt to fall back into place. “That’s what happens when wives don’t listen to their husbands” He uses a finger to tilt her face towards him. “Right?”

“Yes, dear,” Rey hears herself saying. A corner of his lips turn up before he leans down for a kiss. 

As she dries her hands on one of the hand towels and follows him to bed, the fog rushes back in. She brushes her teeth and washes her face on autopilot, the endorphins and serotonin dissipating in her bloodstream. By the time she takes her pills and slides into bed besides Ben, she’s long forgotten what it was like to be filled by him. 

Until the next time.

…

She didn’t remember her life before the Institute, with its lime-tile walls, squeaky floors, and bright lights. She went wherever the nurses told her to, from the common room, to her bedroom, to the doctor’s office. He asked her how she was doing before writing up a new prescription to add to her regiment.

She was taking ten different medications.

Her brain felt warm and fuzzy all the time, like how she thought it must be like when one drinks too much. Alcohol was prohibited at the Institute, but she sometimes saw workers sneak a drink from a flask they tucked into their shirt pocket. She asked for a sip once, and the toothless janitor grinned as he obliged. It burned her throat and the janitor laughed in loud guffaws as she scurried away, embarrassed. 

The sun was always too bright so she kept the shades drawn, only pulling them away after night had fallen. She never saw anything out the large common room windows. Only her sunken reflection staring back at her.

Her brown hair was always messy, stuck in braids or buns for days on end until she washed it. Locks fell out and framed her face in a way that would look handsome on any other eighteen year old girl, but on her it only emphasized her skeletal physique. The plain colored dress she wore was a size too big, and the Mary Janes she came here with were a half size too small. She tried to inform the nurses, but they just patted her head and gave her another magazine to read. She flipped through the pages and imagined herself wearing one of the pretty dresses in the advertisements as another cup of pills was thrust into her face.

She didn’t actually know why she took them. She tried asking before, but no one ever gave her a straight answer. 

“Don’t worry about it, Rey,” the doctor told her. “It’s best if you remain unaware.”

_It’s best if you remain unaware_. Those words echoed in her head for days on end, until—like everything she thinks—it faded away into the ever encompassing fog.

She tried to make friends, but it was difficult. Most of them were far worse off than she was. Their minds were lost to the electroshock treatments, or worse. She heard the screams coming from down the hall. Sometimes they kept her up into the wee hours of the night, so she sang. Softly, quietly, only to herself. Songs that she made up as she went. Her voice is the only thing she likes about herself, the only part of her that isn’t too skinny, too greasy, too lazy. The only thing she has full control of. It wasn’t her fault if other people didn’t listen. At some point she got stuck, the next lyric on the tip of her tongue, but it never materialized. 

Her whole life is reaching for words that are never there.

…

Rey is bringing up laundry from the machines in the garage when Ben comes out of their bedroom. It’s the weekend, and the game starts in an hour or so. Rey carries the basket in both hands as they meet each other in the middle of the upstairs hallway. She waits for him to move, but then she sees the look in his eye.

“Drop it.” 

Rey bends down to place the clothes on the ground, before standing back up. Ben steps over it to guide her to the wall until her back presses up against it. She’s still wearing her nightgown, a simple slip that gives him easy access. 

He doesn’t make her wear panties when she sleeps. 

“Come here,” he growls before picking her up and kissing her. Rey instinctively wraps her arms around his neck and opens her mouth for him, letting him take whatever he wants until she’s sucked dry. She wonders what would happen—would she wither away like the plants she sometimes forgets to water, or shrivel into nothing like the apple she found behind the fridge once? She reaches down between themselves and pulls his cock out from his pajama bottoms, stroking him to full hardness as she hopes she’ll never find out. 

Ben pushes her against the wall, using the leverage to insert himself inside her. She digs her heels into his lower back, holding herself to him. He moves his lips from her mouth to her neck as he slowly thrusts in and out. 

“You’re so light,” he murmurs. “So delicate.” He readjusts his grip on her ass, slamming into her at the same time. Rey moans at the sudden change in pace.

“But you can take me, Rey.” She looks into his eyes, brown amber that burns into her hazel ones. “You can take it.”

“I can take it,” she repeats.

As if she was giving him permission, he continues his rough pace, lifting up her body and spearing her back down on his cock — over and over and over again. She feels him brush against her cervix and she relishes in the borderline painful sensation.

“Harder.”

Rey isn’t sure who says it. It could’ve been her—the subconscious part of her brain rearing its ugly head to make itself heard through the fog. Or it could have been Ben, directing himself as he adjusts to find a new angle that allows himself to make sharper, more forceful thrusts. Either way, he finishes soon after, pulling out as he does so — his spend painting over her thighs and stomach. 

Ben quickly drops her. Rey finds her feet, but her nightgown falls with her, smearing his semen into her skin. He catches his breath as he tucks himself back in and sniffles.

“Such a good wife,” he mutters before cradling the sides of her head to kiss the top of her hair.

She feels her chest flutter and sparkle with the same light feeling she gets from the movies she watches on the television and the music on the radio. She wonders if this is what they felt as they wrote the notes and sang the songs as Ben continued down the hall and the stairs.

But she will never know, she thinks, as she picks up the laundry basket and enters their bedroom.

She’ll never know, because this is all she’s good for.

…

She first saw him as she was eating lunch in the cafeteria. As he walked down the hallway with the doctor, she got a glimpse of him—slicked back black hair, prominent nose—before he was out of her view. She didn’t think much at first. The Institute had visitors all the time, whether they be families of patients or medical students. She was used to hanging her head and staying out of their way.

When she went to visit the doctor she’s surprised to find the man standing in the corner, an open notebook in his hand.

“Don’t mind him, Rey,” the doctor said as he waved her in. “This is Ben, my new assistant.”

She continued to the seat in front of his desk, but she couldn’t shake the feeling of Ben’s eyes on her.

“How are you today?” The doctor’s politely pleasant voice droned on, and Rey’s mind wandered. 

When their appointment ended, Rey stood up and went to the door, sneaking a peak at Ben.

The look in his eyes sent a shiver of fear down her spine. She felt like a prey caught in the gaze of a predator. Too late to try and make a run for it, the only thing she could do was accept her fate. She doesn’t remember leaving the room or walking down the hallway. The next thing she knew, she was in the common room with a magazine on her lap and pills in her hand. She swallowed them down and prayed she would never see that man again.

But like everything else in her life, her prayers went unanswered. Ben shadowed her meetings every week, looming in the corner and burning a hole through her clothes. She wondered how the doctor couldn’t feel it, the aura of hostility that radiates off of his assistant. He put her on edge in a way that nobody had before. It felt like at any moment he could fly off the handle and attack her, and nobody would do anything about it. She had nightmares of Ben coming up from behind her and grabbing her all over, leaving purple and blue splotches on her skin like ink blots. 

She woke up and still felt his hand around her throat.

She never said anything, knowing it wouldn’t make a difference, so she embraced the fog and let it comfort her in its numbness. At least she isn’t feeling fear when she’s feeling numb.

One day she went into the doctor’s office and was shocked to see Ben sitting behind the desk. 

She stayed in the doorway, confused.

“Where is he?” is all she managed to voice.

“He retired, sweetheart,” he said, not looking up from the paper he read. “I’m the doctor here now.”

Rey sucked in a breath. Ben looked up at her and gestured for her to come closer.

“Come.” He smiled, baring crooked teeth. “I don’t bite.”

Rey knew she had no choice, so she walked in and closed the door behind her.

He didn’t do anything out of the ordinary that day, or the week after that. He acted professionally, never stepping over the line. She’s not dumb; she saw the way his eyes lit up when they walk past each other in the hallway, and when she started receiving packages from an unknown sender—first, a new dress in a pretty style and then a pair of shoes that fit--she has her suspicions, but she never asked for fear of being right.

The nightmares continued.

…

She sometimes wakes up to a heat and pressure between her legs. As she becomes more conscious she realizes her leg is pulled up by the knee, and someone’s cock is rubbing itself between her folds. His raspy breath tickles the hair behind her ear when he moans at the sensation.

Rey keeps her eyes closed as he eases himself inside, pretending she’s still asleep. She knows he likes it that way — when she’s just a doll for him to use — a bunch of body parts tied together for his amusement — when she hasn’t taken her pills yet.

He groans, bringing Rey back to the stretch in her center. He slowly pulls himself out before pushing himself back in. It’s like he’s not even trying to get off — just enjoying the feel of her tight walls along his cock.

He drags back and forth, back and forth, for what feels like an eternity. Eventually her leg starts cramping and she moves, but Ben just brings his leg closer so he can lay her leg across his, still leaving her open.

They both pretend she’s still asleep. 

She can tell he has to leave soon by the way he quickens his pace. 

“Clench for me.”

She does so, contracting her pelvis muscles so he can feel every ridge of her channel.

“That’s it darling,” he moans. “That’s it.”

He brings his hand to her throat and holds her there, not squeezing, but possessing her. It’s her favorite thing he does, making her feel safe in a way that she has so rarely been. She wants to fit in his palm, so he can hide her in his pocket and take her out whenever he wants and use her the way he is now. At least when she’s in his arms, it doesn’t matter that there’s nothing in her brain but fog. It’s actually better that way, it allows her to focus on the feel of his cock dragging against her. 

He finishes as the sun rises, light shining through the thin white curtain as his spend leaks out of her onto the crisp bed sheets. He admires the mess he made before retracting himself and putting her leg back down. He presses a kiss where her neck meets her shoulders.

“I’ll see you at dinner,” he whispers as he pulls the covers over her naked body. “Remember to take your pills.”

She nods almost imperceptibly before he steps into the bathroom and closes the door.

As she falls back into unconsciousness, she thinks she’s never been more grateful then this moment to not be at the Institute—even as the memories of that place grow fainter with each passing day. Here she is…

What is that word?

…

A few months went by and Rey was starting to believe that she made everything up in her head when a nurse came to her as she’s eating dinner.

“Go to your room and pack up your things,” she instructed.

“Why?” Rey asked, the nurse's words not making sense.

“You’re leaving.”

“I’m leaving?” she repeated, unable to comprehend. 

The nurse took her by the arm and lifted her up. “I don’t have all day.”

Rey packed up her meager belongings in the small suitcase she’d arrived with and followed the nurse through the hallways towards the front door. She wanted to appreciate this moment, say goodbye to the place that has been her home for as long as she could remember, but the nurse moved too fast and she didn't know where she was going. All of a sudden she was at the large oak doors, and they were opening, they were _opening_ …

She almost cried, the cool night air smelt so good. 

As she stepped through the threshold, she looked out in the distance and only saw darkness. She was overcome by the urge to run into it and disappear, the same way she races into the fog of her mind. Would it be as comforting?

She took a step towards it.

Then she saw the car parked at the bottom of the stairs, a man leaning against the driver’s side door. 

Ben.

Her heart jumped into her throat.

“No,” she said, shaking her head. “No.”

“Would you rather stay here the rest of your life?” the nurse asked, venom laced in every word.

Rey turned to her and tried to find kindness in her face, hoping the nurse could sense her unease.

“Please,” she begged. “Anyone, but him.”

“I’m sorry, Miss,” the nurse, sighed. “But the law is the law.”

Rey had no idea what she was talking about, but she was already being guided down the steps, Ben meeting them halfway.

“Thank you,” he said to the nurse. She nodded and hurried back into the building. Rey watched as she closed the door behind her. 

“Let’s get you home now,” he said, taking the bag from her hand and leading her to the passenger side door.

“Home?” Rey asked.

“Our home,” he clarified. He looked down at her and smiled. 

Rey shivered in fear.

She let him help her into the car and waited as he put her bag in the backseat and went back to the driver’s side. As he started the car and drove away, Rey turned around and watched the Institute disappear into the darkness through the rear window. 

“Here.”

Rey turned back and saw Ben holding out his hand with three small pills in the middle. She eyed them before looking up at him.

“I already took my pills for the night,” she said.

“I know.” He glanced at her. “But you’re experiencing a lot of change right now, and these will help calm your nerves.”

“I’m not nervous,” she asserted.

Ben scoffed. “I’m your doctor Rey. I know what’s best for you.” He brought the pills closer to her. “Just take them.”

Not knowing what else to do, Rey took them and swallowed. A few minutes later she felt her eyelids getting heavier and the world growing quieter. The only thing she could see is the flat road lit up in the car’s headlights. 

The flickering yellow stripes on the asphalt lulled her to sleep.

As she slipped into unconsciousness, she swore she heard Ben murmur to himself.

“My little wife.”

…

They’re watching television one night — some new sitcom that just came out. The characters flit around the square, black-and-white screen as they fret over a dinner party. The live audience laughs and laughs. Rey never understands what the jokes are, but it’s pleasant to watch all the same.

“Rey.”

She turns to her husband beside her. His arms are draped along the back of the couch, his right arm behind her. The television screen lights half of his face like a phantom mask. He looks down.

Rey follows his gaze to his lap, where his limp cock hangs out of his pants. Her eyes flicker up to his. His harsh eyebrows and set jaw tells her everything she needs to know.

She leans down, takes his cock in her tiny hands, and begins to suck.

He tastes like musk and sweat, flavors that Rey has grown to crave like the chocolate cake she bakes for his birthday. When he’s filling her mouth and scraping the back of her throat, she knows she’s being put to good use. She has a purpose now, in spite of the fog clouding her mind’s judgment. His moans and stuttered breath overtake the fake laughter from the television.

She feels his arm slide down the couch to her lower back and adjusts, bringing her legs underneath her so she’s no longer twisting to the side, but leaning over her knees, all without stopping her ministrations. 

His hand creeps over her ass, slowly pulling up the skirt of her dress, bunching the cherry-patterned fabric in his fingers.

“You listened,” he remarks, stroking a finger along the elastic band of her lace underwear. “Now was that so hard?”

Rey doesn’t respond, continuing to take him in as far she can, tears and snot running down her face. She’s sloppy, but she knows he doesn’t mind it. He likes to see her undone.

He slaps her ass, causing her to jump forward. He immediately cups the skin in his hand, squeezing. “Maybe I should punish you. Make your skin all red and splotchy.”

Rey can’t help but like up at his face. He peeks down and smirks.

“But you made such a good dinner tonight,” He takes his free hand from its position on the couch and smooths her hair back. “I think you get a break tonight, my love.”

Rey makes sure to suck in her cheeks and fondle his balls as a form of thanks.

“ _Fuck_ ,” he moans as he slams his head against the back of the couch. 

She feels the hand on her ass grip her underwear and pull it taunt, so it slides in-between her cheeks like a make-shift thong. He pulls and pulls, soaking the fabric in her wetness and causing her to arch her back. Suddenly one of his fingers is there, stroking the inner sides of her labia. Then he’s inside her, to the knuckle.

Rey is sparking on both ends, overstimulated. She tries to focus on the cock in her mouth, but she’s growing tired and her sucks are becoming less forceful. Ben senses this too. He brings his other hand to the back of her neck and helps, guiding her, so she no longer has to move herself.

He adds another finger, stretching her tight channel. Rey wants to moan, to whimper, but she can’t access her vocal cords. They’re blocked, hidden somewhere in the fog. So she holds onto his thighs and digs her fingernails into his skin. 

Then there’s a third. He pulls Rey off of his cock and shoves her face into the space between his shaft and balls so he can focus entirely on her pussy. He moves them quickly, causing the most obscene sounds to fill the room. Right when she thinks she can’t handle anything more, there’s a fourth and she’s cumming, gushing all over his fingers as he keeps his relentless pace. Rey whines, a high pitched sound escaping her mouth and lodging itself into his pubic hair, but Ben doesn’t acknowledge it, only pulling his fingers out to play with her clit.

Rey’s legs twitch and her hips move to try and move away from his pressure on instinct, but Ben follows her. When she brings one of her hands back to try and move him away, he swats it away and goes back to fingering her. Rey feels like she can’t get enough oxygen, despite the deep breaths she’s taking. 

She has a second orgasm, or maybe the first one never ended. Either way, her pelvic muscles contract again, and mercifully Ben retracts his hand, painting her ass with her juices.

Rey sits up and wipes her mouth, her face still puffy and wet from the blowjob.

“Take everything off.”

She does as she’s told, unbuttoning her dress and discarding it onto the floor, along with her bra and ruined underwear. Ben strokes himself as he watches. 

“Come here.” Ben holds out his hand. 

Rey takes it, letting him lead her as she climbs back on the couch and straddles him, her glistening pussy inches from his aching cock. He holds her by the pearl necklace he bought for their six month anniversary as she lines him up and sinks down, neither looking away from where he disappears inside her.

When he’s fully sheathed, Rey braces herself on his biceps before moving up and down. He holds her by the waist, his hands engulfing her torso as his fingertips brush over her ribs. 

That familiar dull ache makes Rey’s head spin. She leans down and rests her forehead on his shoulder, spent even though he’s not even close to finishing. Ben happily takes control, moving down to hold her by the ass as he pistons into her, knocking the breath she just caught right out of her lungs. Without thinking she brings her hand in between their bodies and touches her clit.

“I’m almost there, hold on,” Ben grunts out. “Hold on.”

Rey knows exactly what his cock feels like when he’s about to cum. He slows down and makes sure he’s as deep inside of her heat as possible. When he has her ass in a death grip and moans, she knows that’s the time to rub and bring herself over the edge. 

They do it at the same time. As his spend coats her walls, they contract and pull him in deeper, all while she drips over his work pants. 

They sit there for a while, catching their breath as the show finishes and the credits play. Ben releases her and Rey sits up, adjusting their position so that she now rests in his lap, leaning against his body for support with his arms around her. Another sitcom has started playing. He rests his chin on her head and watches. 

Rey closes her eyes, relishing the clear-headedness his fucking always gives her. As she falls asleep, lulled to sleep by her husband’s heartbeat and the television in the background she finally finds the words she’s been searching for her whole life:

_Bliss_.

**Author's Note:**

> _After I Fall Down the Stairs at the Golden Temple_
> 
> _For a while I could not remember some word  
>  I was in need of,  
> and I was bereaved and said: where are you,  
>  beloved friend?_
> 
> Follow me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/kitty_kat128)


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